My psychologist
Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 5:39 pm
A very long time ago I consulted a psychologist about my foot/shoe fetish. She really felt weird about it; this was way before the internet came along.
I told him that I have an unusually strong interest in women's feet and shoeplay. He said that is a pretty common fetish actually. I said "but I don't really like it...its like all I think about.
He said "if you don't mind, can you tell me if you have an active dating life". I said "it could be better" and grimaced a little bit. He asked me to describe in detail what it was that I liked the best about it. I told him that I liked to see women in hose slipping their pumps on and off; but I also told him that I even get slighly aroused by just looking at pretty well formed feet. She said "what do you mean 'well formed'?'. I said I like narrow feet, long slender straight toes, and a high. long arch that peaks near the heel. I told him that I had a strong preference for women in hose.
He said "I think I can tell you what that means, in a way. You said you like slender narrow feet? I said "yes, the narrower the better. He said "i'll bet you like slender, thin women". I said "well, yes, of course...don't most guys?". He said "yes, probably". He then said and you like "high arches" and I nodded. He said "you know...the foot comes in all different types of shapes and sizes..and the foot has a lot of curves to it". He said "can you pin down what it is about high arches that turn you on?". I said "that I just don't know..I just like them". The the subject changed to women wearing pumps. I said "I think I already know why you like pumps, as they call them...because they slip on and off easily". I said "yeah...you are right". The he asked me if I liked high heels. I said "oh yeah..those are my favorite kind". He asked me if I had examined the idea and had an idea of what is was about high heels. I said "well I'm not positive..maybe it increases the possibility that the lady will slip them off". He said "yes, and that is probably true". He asked me if I liked anything else about heels, and I said "yeah, I like to see the inside of them". He said "any idea why?". I said "I like to see the name brand; esp if it is stamped in gold". He nodded and said "I see".
Then he said "I think you like high heels for a couple of reasons; you like them because the lady might slip them off since they tend to be uncomfortable in the first place. I also think you like to see women wear them because those heels tend to arch the foot and you already said you like to see the arch. Then he asked me if I liked blonde women. I said "yeah, they are my favorite type". He said " have you dated many? I said "oh, just a few". He said "I think you like the gold name in the shoe because it sort of is the same color of blonde hair".
He then said "what is your favorite color? I said "red". He said "I'll bet you like women who wear red high heel pumps, right?". I said "yeah, but they don't HAVE to be red, but its a bonus if they are. And, he said "I'll bet you like the inside of any pump to be red, don't you?". I said "yeah, for the most part". But I reminded him that almost any color of pump except for maybe brown or tan tends to excite me. He said "yeah, its because those are sort of plain colors.
He then said "I don't think I need to hear much more. Here is my advice to you. TRY to date more actively and try not to just date women whose feet and shoes you want to see...it is going to be hard probably". "He said "if you can get into a meaningful, loving relationship with an otherwise attractive lady, I think you will think a lot less about feet and shoes". You might even forget about them altogether". I said "that is a tall order". He said "you need to build some confidence in yourself. He asked me if I had any female friends. I said "yeah, a couple". He suggested that I ask them for some "help". He said "pretend it is a date" and then ask them for suggestions, until you feel more self confident. If you haven't dated that much, then you are probably rusty. You need to refresh your social skills. I think you will be much happier if you as I recommend. He said "you're a decent looking guy..there's no reason why you can't date once a week or so". I said "yeah, but I'm pretty shy". He said "take advantage of your female friends and make some more. The more you are around women, the more comfortable you will feel. If you aren't comfortable around them, then it will never come naturally and you will never have a good deal of success.
Then he said "try it and come back and see me in a month". I said "I don't know if I can pull that off in a month". He said "well, whenever you feel you have something to report. I agreed.
I talked to a couple of my female friends, and they were happy to give me some tips. The first time I went out with one of them, I didn't know how to act, so I asked them what I was doing wrong. She gave me a lot of tips..but she also said "be yourself...but try to engage them in some subject that you both have in common.. Find something to talk about. Keep the conversation moving. That may be tough for you since you are not a natural talker. And DON'T try to get a date with a woman based just on her looks". I know men like pretty women and some guys do get lucky, but I think you will have much better luck if you make that secondary in importance. Now if she and you are just looking for a one-nighter, then so be it. But if you want a lasting relationship, then you have got to have common ground...and chemistry. No chemistry..no second date usually". And whatever you do, DON'T look at their feet or shoes!!". I know that will be hard for you to do, but you have to try if you ever want to 'break out".
So I went out several times with both friends, treating them to dinner for their trouble, and they introduced me to a couple of their friends for the same purpose. I started to feel more comfortable with the whole idea.
My social skills got better and I started to date a little bit more, managing to keep my eyes off their feet and shoes for the most part. It was HARD.
And I found myself being a little bit more interested in the lady than what she was wearing. Of course I could never get over the foot/shoe completely, but it seemed to take on a little less importance.
I reported back to my psychologist 2 months later and gave him my findings. He congratulated me and said "that's a good start...if you can keep it up, you MIGHT forget about shoe and feet altogether...if that is what YOU want". I said "I still like to look, but it isn't as often now and I'm happy about that.
He said "good luck..and if you need to come back and talk, then feel free.
That was about 20 years ago. I still like to look but now I am more interested in finding a mate and my social skiils are much better, so the
task of finding a good woman seems less like a chore and I am a little bit more confident about finding her.
End of story.
I told him that I have an unusually strong interest in women's feet and shoeplay. He said that is a pretty common fetish actually. I said "but I don't really like it...its like all I think about.
He said "if you don't mind, can you tell me if you have an active dating life". I said "it could be better" and grimaced a little bit. He asked me to describe in detail what it was that I liked the best about it. I told him that I liked to see women in hose slipping their pumps on and off; but I also told him that I even get slighly aroused by just looking at pretty well formed feet. She said "what do you mean 'well formed'?'. I said I like narrow feet, long slender straight toes, and a high. long arch that peaks near the heel. I told him that I had a strong preference for women in hose.
He said "I think I can tell you what that means, in a way. You said you like slender narrow feet? I said "yes, the narrower the better. He said "i'll bet you like slender, thin women". I said "well, yes, of course...don't most guys?". He said "yes, probably". He then said and you like "high arches" and I nodded. He said "you know...the foot comes in all different types of shapes and sizes..and the foot has a lot of curves to it". He said "can you pin down what it is about high arches that turn you on?". I said "that I just don't know..I just like them". The the subject changed to women wearing pumps. I said "I think I already know why you like pumps, as they call them...because they slip on and off easily". I said "yeah...you are right". The he asked me if I liked high heels. I said "oh yeah..those are my favorite kind". He asked me if I had examined the idea and had an idea of what is was about high heels. I said "well I'm not positive..maybe it increases the possibility that the lady will slip them off". He said "yes, and that is probably true". He asked me if I liked anything else about heels, and I said "yeah, I like to see the inside of them". He said "any idea why?". I said "I like to see the name brand; esp if it is stamped in gold". He nodded and said "I see".
Then he said "I think you like high heels for a couple of reasons; you like them because the lady might slip them off since they tend to be uncomfortable in the first place. I also think you like to see women wear them because those heels tend to arch the foot and you already said you like to see the arch. Then he asked me if I liked blonde women. I said "yeah, they are my favorite type". He said " have you dated many? I said "oh, just a few". He said "I think you like the gold name in the shoe because it sort of is the same color of blonde hair".
He then said "what is your favorite color? I said "red". He said "I'll bet you like women who wear red high heel pumps, right?". I said "yeah, but they don't HAVE to be red, but its a bonus if they are. And, he said "I'll bet you like the inside of any pump to be red, don't you?". I said "yeah, for the most part". But I reminded him that almost any color of pump except for maybe brown or tan tends to excite me. He said "yeah, its because those are sort of plain colors.
He then said "I don't think I need to hear much more. Here is my advice to you. TRY to date more actively and try not to just date women whose feet and shoes you want to see...it is going to be hard probably". "He said "if you can get into a meaningful, loving relationship with an otherwise attractive lady, I think you will think a lot less about feet and shoes". You might even forget about them altogether". I said "that is a tall order". He said "you need to build some confidence in yourself. He asked me if I had any female friends. I said "yeah, a couple". He suggested that I ask them for some "help". He said "pretend it is a date" and then ask them for suggestions, until you feel more self confident. If you haven't dated that much, then you are probably rusty. You need to refresh your social skills. I think you will be much happier if you as I recommend. He said "you're a decent looking guy..there's no reason why you can't date once a week or so". I said "yeah, but I'm pretty shy". He said "take advantage of your female friends and make some more. The more you are around women, the more comfortable you will feel. If you aren't comfortable around them, then it will never come naturally and you will never have a good deal of success.
Then he said "try it and come back and see me in a month". I said "I don't know if I can pull that off in a month". He said "well, whenever you feel you have something to report. I agreed.
I talked to a couple of my female friends, and they were happy to give me some tips. The first time I went out with one of them, I didn't know how to act, so I asked them what I was doing wrong. She gave me a lot of tips..but she also said "be yourself...but try to engage them in some subject that you both have in common.. Find something to talk about. Keep the conversation moving. That may be tough for you since you are not a natural talker. And DON'T try to get a date with a woman based just on her looks". I know men like pretty women and some guys do get lucky, but I think you will have much better luck if you make that secondary in importance. Now if she and you are just looking for a one-nighter, then so be it. But if you want a lasting relationship, then you have got to have common ground...and chemistry. No chemistry..no second date usually". And whatever you do, DON'T look at their feet or shoes!!". I know that will be hard for you to do, but you have to try if you ever want to 'break out".
So I went out several times with both friends, treating them to dinner for their trouble, and they introduced me to a couple of their friends for the same purpose. I started to feel more comfortable with the whole idea.
My social skills got better and I started to date a little bit more, managing to keep my eyes off their feet and shoes for the most part. It was HARD.
And I found myself being a little bit more interested in the lady than what she was wearing. Of course I could never get over the foot/shoe completely, but it seemed to take on a little less importance.
I reported back to my psychologist 2 months later and gave him my findings. He congratulated me and said "that's a good start...if you can keep it up, you MIGHT forget about shoe and feet altogether...if that is what YOU want". I said "I still like to look, but it isn't as often now and I'm happy about that.
He said "good luck..and if you need to come back and talk, then feel free.
That was about 20 years ago. I still like to look but now I am more interested in finding a mate and my social skiils are much better, so the
task of finding a good woman seems less like a chore and I am a little bit more confident about finding her.
End of story.